Okay wow, top career growth mistakes women make… yeah I’ve been marinating on this one because I’ve personally committed like 90% of them while sitting in various poorly lit American apartments over the last decade. Right now I’m in this rented place outside DC with the radiator making weird clicking noises and my neighbor’s toddler doing what sounds like tap-dancing lessons at 10 p.m., so forgive me if this post has some typos or goes off the rails. That’s kind of the point right? We’re not perfect. I’m definitely not.
Not Claiming Credit → Classic Among the Career Growth Mistakes Women Make
God this one hurts to admit. I once spent six months basically redesigning our entire client onboarding process at my last job (Chicago, brutal winters, my fingers were always cold) and when the VP asked in the all-hands who deserved a shout-out I literally said, “Oh the whole team really pulled together.” The whole team. Who mostly watched me do it while they were on Slack meme threads. I went home and ate an entire bag of sour gummies in shame while Netflix asked if I was still watching.
Why do we do this? Like I know it’s partly socialization – be nice, don’t brag, etc. – but in American offices that attitude gets you labeled “supportive” instead of “leadership material.” Super frustrating contradiction because I want to be kind but I also want the raise.
Fix I’m slowly learning (still suck at it sometimes): I literally have a note in my phone called “Things I Actually Did” and I force myself to read one bullet before every 1:1. Also stole this habit from a Harvard Business Review piece on self-promotion for women – they say women get penalized twice as hard for not self-promoting so yeah… data hurts but helps.
Okay But How Do You Actually Start Owning Wins Without Feeling Gross
Practice in low-stakes places first. I started telling my best friend every tiny win over FaceTime while she cooked dinner – “I finished the deck early,” “I spoke up in the meeting,” whatever. Felt dumb. Then it felt normal. Now I drop facts in emails without the five sorrys beforehand. Progress not perfection, you know?
Treating Networking Like It’s Optional (Another Top Career Growth Mistake Women Make)
I used to think networking = fake and icky. So during my New York years I basically became a hermit crab. Rainy subway rides home smelling like wet coats and regret, scrolling LinkedIn like it would magically connect dots for me. Spoiler: it didn’t.
Missed a mentor opportunity because I skipped a happy hour where apparently everyone important was complaining about the same project I was. Found out months later while eating sad desk salad.
Networking isn’t schmoozing. It’s just… talking to humans before you need something. American workplaces run on who knows who. Harsh but true.
What finally worked: I committed to one intentional reach-out per week. Sometimes it’s just a “hey saw your post about X, resonated because Y” comment on LinkedIn. Sometimes coffee. I stole structure from Lean In’s networking tips and also just copied my male colleague who literally asked everyone “how can I help you?” and then actually followed through. Sneaky effective.
Still ghost people sometimes though. Human.
- Quick messy list of things that helped me network without dying inside:
- virtual events only at first (Zoom sweatpants era)
- Bumble Bizz – feels like dating app but for jobs, less pressure
- follow-up message within 24 hrs with one specific thing you remember
- offer something small first (article, intro, quick question)
Saying Yes to Everything → Probably the Most Exhausting Career Growth Mistake Women Make
This one almost broke me. In 2023 I said yes to every committee, every stretch project, every “quick favor.” Thought it would prove I was indispensable. Instead I became the person everyone dumped work on while the strategic stuff went to people who said no sometimes.
Ended up crying in my car after a 9 p.m. meeting because I forgot to eat dinner and also forgot what sunlight felt like. Dramatic? Yes. Accurate? Also yes.
Now I’m practicing “No is a complete sentence” but softer versions like “I’d love to help but I’m at capacity on high-priority items until Q3.” Sounds fancy, buys breathing room.
Learned boundaries language from this Forbes piece on women avoiding burnout and also from therapy (shout-out to my therapist who’s probably tired of hearing me say “but they need me”).
Still slip. Last month I volunteered for something stupid again. Face-palmed. Whatever.
Wrapping This Messy Ramble on Career Growth Mistakes Women Make
So yeah… those are my big ones. Not claiming wins, ghosting networking, saying yes until I’m a husk. I still do versions of all three because being human is annoying like that. But I’m getting better-ish. Slowly.
If any of this made you go “oh no same,” you’re not alone and you’re not broken. Just stuck in the same dumb patterns a lot of us are.
What’s one career growth mistake you’ve made that still makes you cringe? Drop it below (or don’t, no pressure). And if this helped even 1%, send it to a friend who’s quietly doing too much.
