Alright listen, gender equality vs equity has been living rent-free in my brain for months now and honestly? I’m still kinda pissed I didn’t figure it out sooner.
I’m typing this at like 2 a.m. because sleep is a myth, there’s an empty ramen bowl next to me, my dog is snoring on the couch, and outside Austin is doing its usual late-night honking symphony even though I’m pretending I’m somewhere in the States for this vibe (long story, don’t ask). Anyway. I used to be THAT person who would die on the hill of “just treat everyone equally and it’s fine!!” Like full-on equality warrior. Same rules, same chances, same everything. Feminism 101, right?
Wrong. Or at least… not enough.
The Time Gender Equality Vs Equity Kicked My Ass Personally
So flashback to maybe 2024? I was freelancing heavy, pitching like crazy, finally landed this decent remote contract with a U.S. startup. They were all “we’re committed to gender equality!” Had the same proposal template for everybody, same payment terms, same deadlines. Super equal.
I was recovering from a really rough health thing (PCOS flare-up + anemia combo meal, fun times), working from bed half the days, brain fog so bad I once sent a client proposal with “sorry I’m dying lol” accidentally still in the draft comments. The dudes on the team? Fresh, rested, probably had someone cooking dinner for them. Same exact resources handed out equally. I delivered late twice. Got the “we value reliability” passive-aggressive email. Contract not renewed.
I cried in the shower for like 40 minutes. Real glamorous.
Then I stumbled across some article (probably UN Women or one of those Embracing Equity guys—here’s a good one if you want) and it clicked: equality gave me the same ladder. Equity would’ve given me a ladder that actually reached where I was standing in the damn hole.
Okay But What Even Is Gender Equality Vs Equity Really
Super quick dumb version because my brain is fried:
- Gender equality — everybody gets identical treatment / opportunities / rules. No favoritism. Sounds perfect.
- Gender equity — look at where people actually ARE, then adjust the support so everyone can realistically reach the same outcome. Not sameness. Fairness.
Like that picture everyone shares with the three kids trying to watch baseball over a fence. Equality = same size box for all. Equity = tall kid no box, medium kid small box, short kid big box. Everyone sees the game.
I still catch myself saying “equality” when I mean “equity.” Old habits die hard. Whatever.
Why This Gender Equality Vs Equity Stuff Feels Extra Heavy for Women Right Now
Because the system still quietly expects women to do +30% invisible labor. Childcare. Elder care. Emotional labor. Period leave? Ha. Maternity penalties? Still real. In India it’s even messier with family pressure layered on top but don’t get me started or this post becomes 4000 words.
I’ve literally watched male colleagues get “visionary leadership” praise for doing the bare minimum while I get “aggressive” for asking for the same deadline extension they got last month. Equality says “treat the request the same.” Equity says “wait, context matters, why is her request getting side-eye?”
What I’m Actually Doing About It (Badly, But Trying)
- I now literally say “this policy is equal but not equitable” in meetings. People blink. Progress?
- Asking other women what support they actually need instead of assuming.
- Reading more. Messing up less. (Still mess up tho.)
- Calling out my own contradictions—I want equality SO bad but I also want the accommodations that make equality possible. Both can be true. Brains are weird.
Sometimes I think equity sounds like “special treatment” and I hate that it triggers my inner people-pleaser. Then I remember getting passed over and I’m like nah fuck that noise.
Final Ramble
Gender equality vs equity isn’t sexy. It’s not a cute hashtag. It’s messy, it’s uncomfortable, it forces us to admit life isn’t fair yet and same-rules-for-all doesn’t magically fix centuries of bullshit. But understanding the difference? Has made me less hard on myself. A little kinder to other women. A little louder about what we actually need.
So yeah. If you’re a woman reading this at stupid o’clock like me… what part of equality-vs-equity feels off in your life right now? Tell me. Yell at me. Whatever. I’m here with cold ramen and bad opinions.
