Okay so gender equality myths have been quietly fucking with me for longer than I care to admit and I’m sitting here in my apartment in the US (well pretending it’s right now, lights dim, some true crime podcast droning in the background, half-eaten takeout container smelling faintly of garlic on the coffee table) realizing a lot of the stuff I used to accept without question is straight-up holding women back even in 2026. Like I genuinely thought we were mostly “there” maybe five years ago. Spoiler: we are not.
The Biggest Gender Equality Myths I Used to Buy Into
First one that comes to mind is the classic “the wage gap is a myth” or “it’s just because women choose lower-paying jobs.” God I repeated that one myself once during a family dinner argument – cringe level 1000. My cousin (who works in tech sales) just looked at me like I’d grown a second head. Turns out when you control for literally everything the gap shrinks but doesn’t disappear. I felt so dumb afterward. Like I was part of the problem by parroting that without checking.
Check out what the Economic Policy Institute says about it lately – still depressing reading: https://www.epi.org/publication/womens-work-and-the-gender-pay-gap-how-discrimination-societal-norms-and-other-barriers-affect-womens-occupational-choices-and-pay/
And yeah I know the link might be slightly outdated already because things move fast but point stands.
That One Time I Got Called “Too Aggressive” For Asking For What I Deserved
Another gender equality myth that’s super sneaky is “if women just negotiate harder / lean in more / act more like men then equality happens.” I tried that. Hard. In my last job I prepped for three days, had data, had comparables, went in confident. Manager literally said “you’re coming across a bit aggressive for a woman.” I froze. Smiled. Said thank you. Left. Cried in my car. That phrase is still burned in my brain. So yeah the “just behave differently” myth is bullshit because the rules keep shifting depending on who’s judging.
There’s this really good piece in HBR about how the same behavior gets labeled differently based on gender that I reread whenever I need to remind myself I’m not crazy: https://hbr.org/2021/04/research-men-and-women-are-judged-differently-for-the-same-helping-behavior
More Gender Equality Myths That Drive Me Nuts
- “We have equal opportunities now so stop complaining” – tell that to the STEM dropout rates for women or the maternity penalty that still exists big time.
- “Feminism hates men” – I’ve literally had guys on dates say this unprompted. Like bro I just ordered nachos calm down.
- “The glass ceiling is broken because look at [insert famous woman]” – one high-profile success does not mean the system is fixed. It’s like saying racism ended because Obama was president. Come on.
I could go on but my brain is starting to feel scrambled. Anyway.
What I’m Actually Doing About These Equality Illusions Now
Look I’m not perfect at this. I still catch myself shrinking in meetings sometimes, I still apologize way too much, I still get imposter syndrome when I write stuff like this blog post wondering who tf cares what I think. But here’s what helps me push back a tiny bit every day:
- Call out the myths when I hear them – even if my voice shakes a little.
- Share stories like this one even when they’re embarrassing.
- Support other women without turning it into a competition.
- Read actual research instead of relying on vibes (working on that one).
It’s messy and imperfect and I contradict myself sometimes but whatever. Progress isn’t linear.
So yeah… gender equality myths are still very much holding women back and pretending otherwise just keeps the status quo cozy. If any of this hit home, tell me your version in the comments or just forward this to someone who needs to hear it. Or don’t. Your call.
