Okay look — career growth for women is not the neat little corporate staircase they sell you in LinkedIn posts. It’s more like someone handed you a jungle gym that’s on fire and also it’s raining. I’m sitting here in my flat right now, it’s like 5:30 pm IST, fan making that annoying click every rotation, chai gone cold on the side table, and I’m still mad about something that happened three jobs ago.
Like seriously. Three years back I was gunning for senior associate. I had the numbers. Client love letters (emails). Stayed late so often my roommate thought I was having an affair with the office printer. Presentation day comes — I’m in this thrifted blazer that pinched under the arms — and the feedback after? “You’re very… direct.” The guy who literally screamed at vendors two weeks earlier got called “passionate.” I went home, kicked off my shoes so hard one hit the wall, and ugly-cried into a pillow that still smells faintly of defeat.
That’s career growth for women in a nutshell sometimes. You do everything “right” and still get dinged for tone, likability, “fit.” Meanwhile the mediocre bros sail through.
The Stuff They Don’t Tell You About Career Growth for Women
First — the mommy track is real even before you have kids.
I watched my friend get passed over for stretch projects after she mentioned maybe wanting kids “someday.” She hadn’t even started trying. They just assumed.
I’ve been asked in interviews (illegally, btw) “Do you plan to have a family soon?” like it’s casual small talk.
And don’t get me started on the performance reviews that sound like personality critiques instead of work critiques. “You could smile more in meetings.” Bro I’m trying to keep the lights on, smiling is extra.
Another thing — networking feels different.
Men go for beers and it’s “bonding.”
Women do the same and it’s “not serious” or “drinking too much.”
I’ve literally had male colleagues joke that my after-work chai runs with the girls team were “gossip sessions.” Meanwhile their golf outings are “strategic.”
The hypocrisy burns.
What Actually Moved the Needle for Me (Mostly by Accident)
Look I’m not some girl-boss guru with a perfect ten-step plan. Half the time I’m making it up as I go. But these things kinda worked.
- I stopped saying sorry for existing.
Used to start every email with “sorry to bother you but…” — cut that shit out. Now it’s “Hey quick question” or straight to the point. Small, felt huge. - I found one ruthless advocate.
Not a mentor who gives advice — a sponsor who says my name in rooms I’m not in. Took me two years to find her. She’s scary good. I owe her biryani forever. - I started keeping a “brag file.”
Every nice email, every metric I hit, screenshot. When review season comes I don’t have to scramble remembering what I did in Q2 2024. It’s all there. Also helps fight imposter syndrome on days when it’s loud. - I negotiated. Badly at first.
First time I asked for more money my voice cracked like I was thirteen. Got 4%. Second time — practiced in the mirror like a psycho — got 18% + better title. Still proud.
The Contradictions I Still Live With
Here’s the messy truth: sometimes I play the game I hate.
I soften my tone on purpose. I laugh at dumb jokes. I wear lipstick even when I don’t feel like it because “presentation matters.”
And I hate that it works sometimes.
Other days I go full feral — call out bias in meetings, push back hard — and it backfires.
So yeah. No clean answers. Just trade-offs.
Career growth for women isn’t linear. It’s not fair. It’s exhausting.
But it’s also possible.
I’m further along than I thought I’d be — not because the system suddenly got kinder, but because I got scrappier.
If you’re reading this and feeling stuck — you’re not alone.
Drop a comment or DM if you want. Tell me the dumb thing someone said to you in a 1:1 last week.
Misery loves company. And so does progress.
(Also sorry for any typos — it’s late, my eyes hurt, and WordPress keeps eating my formatting. Classic.)
